


Not Without You

by DuplexBeGreat



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/M, I'm not listing the characters cause that would spoil it lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 09:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15860559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuplexBeGreat/pseuds/DuplexBeGreat
Summary: A leader ceremony like any other. A particular leader's ceremony... but one like any other.





	Not Without You

The darkness slipped away as the tom padded out of the tunnel, the Moonstone coming into view at last. This was the first time he had laid eyes on it, and while he had never doubted the tales he had heard, it was still a relief to know that the winding, pitch-black cavern did in fact lead to this treasure.

The medicine cat by his side was not the one he had always wished would be there, but he didn’t let that slow him down for more than a brief moment. This cat was perfectly capable of performing his duties, and his dedication to his Clan and to StarClan was unmatched. It was unfair to compare him to his predecessor. Her time was past, and besides, the tom knew, she would be with them, unseen, regardless. Perhaps, he realized with a start, she might even appear in front of him before the night was up. The thought gave him a flicker of anticipation—as excited as he was to see her, he was nervous, too, at the thought of facing her. She shouldn’t have died before he did. It wasn’t fair.

But it was the way things were, and he would have to live with them.

He approached the Moonstone cautiously, marveling at its polished beauty. Despite the stories he’d heard his former leader and others tell of its glaring white shine, the stone was silent with darkness. Though a sight to behold, for sure, it wasn’t quite the incandescent marvel he’d been lead to believe it was.

He glanced at the medicine cat, who nodded to confirm that he should proceed. Squatting down, the tom lay on the floor beside the Moonstone and touched his nose to it.

Instantly the stone flared into life, bright, luminous radiance shooting off it in every direction. Gasping, the tom jerked his head up, gazing at the cavern around him as it began to glow with starry light. One by one, shapes formed out of the starry mist, half-visible cats with sparkles in their eyes and fur.

StarClan had come.

One cat stepped forward out of the group, coming to stand beside the tom where he lay on the cave floor. It was a cat the tom knew well, sleek and gray-furred, with strength in his eyes and warmth radiating from his pelt. “Welcome,” he purred. “You’ve come so far, and yet so much more lies ahead of you.”

The tom nodded. “I know, and I am prepared to lead my Clan with StarClan’s blessing. I will make you all proud.”

The StarClan cat crouched down, touching his muzzle to the living tom’s own. “Then with this life, I give you the determination to maintain unity among the Clans. Your path forward will not be easy, but if you remember the ties that bind all the cats of the forest together, you will be able to meet any challenges you encounter.”

The tom seized up, grunting as pain flooded through him from nose to tail-tip. It was as if a fire had been lit inside him, scorching him with the need to be a beacon of strength for all the Clans in the moons to come. As the pain faded, he gazed up at the StarClan warrior, who was now returning to the other starry cats, his place already taken by another: a brown tabby she-cat.

He gazed up at her with sorrow. He hadn’t known her very well, and that was the problem: she had died too soon. He scrambled to his paws as she began to speak, her voice clear and resonant. “With this life, I give you the courage to fight for what you know is right, no matter how great the risks may be.” She touched her muzzle to his, and a fresh wave of energy shot through him, fresher and harsher than the previous life had been. Where the last one was a steadily burning fire, this one was like a bolt of lightning, brief and intense. He shuddered and fought to remain standing, but the pain was over soon enough.

The third cat to step forward was a kit, fluffy and bright-eyed. _I should have known_ , the tom thought, unable to contain his emotion all the same. Brimming with happiness, he ducked his head and purred as the kit ran to meet him. For a brief, cherished moment, father and son were reunited.

The moment lasted forever, but when it ended, it was still far too soon for the warrior. As the kit stepped back, the tom gazed at him, a hundred different things to say flitting through his mind, knowing he wouldn’t have enough time to get through even one of them.

The kit’s tail curled with affection. “Don’t worry. We can talk another day. For now, it’s my turn to give you a life.” He lifted his muzzle to his father’s. “With this life, I give you joy. You can find it wherever you look, if you are with those you care about.” This time, no pain flowed from the StarClan cat’s nose to the living tom’s body. Instead, he felt only a simple, easy bliss, like a cool breeze on a warm greenleaf day.

As the tiny kit returned to the other StarClan warriors, a large tabby tom took his place. He nodded in greeting; he and the living tom had not known each other well, but the same respect was shared between them as there was between all warriors. “I give you this life for trusting your instincts,” came the StarClan tom’s voice, deep and calm. “Even if you do not know which way to turn, your heart will not lead you astray.”

There was pain in this life, sharp and piercing. But at the same time, the tom felt clarity flow through himself, as if he could see more clearly than before. And when the pain faded, another of his kits was standing in front of him.

This one was a she-kit, slightly larger than her brother, but a kit nonetheless. The tom nearly fell to the cave floor again as she approached, overcome as he was with sorrow. “I wish we could have saved you,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

The kit gazed at him with nothing but love in her eyes. “You did everything you could. And you’d do the same for any cat in your Clan. But you can’t save every cat. Sometimes, when it’s all over, you have to be able to move on.” The tom thrust forward his muzzle for her to touch. “I give you this life for putting your Clan above all else,” she mewed, her voice still light with youth. “Whatever personal troubles may come your way, you will know how to ensure your Clan is the strongest it can be.” The tom’s muscles stiffened as another wave of pain came on, firm and uncompromising. It spoke to him of sacrifice, of hard choices, and of responsibility.

The sixth cat came towards him, her gray-and-white pelt flecked with stars. Her life had ended on a Thunderpath less than a moon ago, despite how much she had been through before that. “With this life,” she mewed confidently, “I give you humility. As much strength as you have, there will always be things you cannot control. Do not lose sight of your place in the world, and you will lead your Clan well.” Her muzzle touched his, but the only feeling was of peace. There were things in the forest that he could not change, and that was completely fine.

The next cat that emerged from the ranks of starry warriors held her head up high, free of the doubts that had plagued her late in her life. The tom was glad to see her here; though they belonged to separate Clans and hadn’t always agreed, no cat could deny that they were friends. “Your path will not be the same as mine,” she warned. “Nothing stays the same forever. Your choices may not be what you wish they were.”

The tom dipped his head. “I know. And I’m grateful to you for everything you did to bring us this far. I won’t let your legacy go to waste. Our Clans will always be allies.”

“ _Nothing_ can always stay the same,” she repeated. She regarded him warmly, “But it is good to know that you still believe in friendship. You will need that inner strength.” She pressed her muzzle against his. “With this life, I give you confidence in your own decisions. No matter what others may say, you must know when you are right.” Fire surged through him once again, striking every part of his body and making it an effort to remain on his paws.

As the she-cat padded back to the edge of the cave, she was replaced by another with a pelt that contrasted hers perfectly. She approached the tom with serenity and grace, but there was a glimmer of excitement just beneath the surface of her starred pelt. The tom felt a swelling of love greater than any before. The first two kits he had loved with everything he had, yes, but they had died before he had really gotten a chance to know them. But this one… the daughter that he was prouder of than he could possibly explain. And despite all her skills, all that she had grown up to be, she had still died before him. She was the third kit he’d had to bury, and the hardest.

She greeted him with a purr, the love flowing between them unspoken. “I’m so proud of you.”

He stifled a _mrrow_ of amusement. “ _You’re_ proud of _me_? Look at everything you accomplished!”

“Yes,” she meowed solemnly. “And look at everything you’ve yet to.”

He gazed at her sadly. “It wasn’t fair that you had to die first.”

“It wasn’t fair to you,” she replied. “But I am at peace, here, in StarClan. I know so many of these cats. I miss you greatly, but my time had come. Yours is still a ways away, and I know you’ll lead with all the love you showed me until then.”

He pushed his muzzle forward, and she met it. “With this life,” she said, “I give you love.” It was as soothing as a warm beam of sunlight.

She stepped back, and the final cat took her place in front of the tom.

It was exactly who he knew it would be. Every one of the cats who had given him a life up to this point had done so with meaning, with compassion, with spirit. Gray Wing, Rainswept Flower, Ember, Mouse Ear, Morning Whisker, Swift Minnow, Shadowstar, and Moth Flight. They had all given him lives for qualities that they embodied, that would serve him well as a leader. But none of them could match the tenacity, the pride, the _everything_ that was present in the one cat whose approval he most desperately needed.

“My love,” said Windstar. “It’s time.”

He looked up at her pleadingly, taking in every stripe on her back, every furrow on her face, every sparkle in her perfect eyes. “I can’t,” said Gorse Fur. “Not without you.”

“You never needed me,” she replied, love written onto every hair of her pelt. “You were always more understanding, more careful, more reasonable than I was. I was the one who needed you.”

“No,” he gasped, knowing it couldn’t be true. “You were the natural leader. You had passion, you had courage, you had the stubbornness to keep the Clan going…”

“And you were there for all of it,” Windstar said, her eyes not leaving his for a moment. “You know exactly what you need to do, Gorse Fur. You’re the only cat who can.”

“For nine lifetimes?” he whispered. “I can’t bear to go on so much longer by myself.”

“You can, and you will,” she said calmly. She touched her muzzle to his, and Gorse Fur felt a wave of infinite love flow into him, filling him with the might of a hundred cats.

“With this life,” said Windstar, her voice filling the Moonstone chamber, “I give you the strength to carry on in the face of all you have lost. Lead my Clan well, Gorsestar.”

As she backed away, the tom felt the force of the life she had given him receding. The cats of StarClan raised their voices in a welcoming chant. “Gorsestar! Gorsestar! Gorsestar!”

She couldn’t stay with him after he left this cavern. None of them could, not even Moth Flight, not in any way that he would see. But he would see them all again, some day. It didn’t matter how long it took. He had the patience to wait a thousand lifetimes, knowing that they were always watching over him.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small thing I felt like doing. The pain the deputy feels when they realize that they've been left to handle things on their own is always one of the most gripping parts of Warriors for me, for almost any deputy in the series. But it's hard to think of a better way to show it than Gorse Fur, the deputy who not only lost his leader, but also his mate.
> 
> I'm assuming Moth Flight died before Windstar. This is definitely up for debate, though. I'm also assuming Dust Muzzle outlived both his parents and all three of his littermates and went on to become Duststar. That's definitely not canon, but I'm sticking with it.
> 
> Yes, I called Emberkit Ember. Fight me.


End file.
